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That was enough to bring her back to life and she returned an equally unintelligible grunt.

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And I didn't make this thread for the ladies to bash men or vice versa for crappy sex. Eventually he got so sweaty and I was so not into it that his sweat got into my lady parts and started to hurt.

Also, although I make her out to sound like a derpy girl from Clueless, you'll have to trust me when I tell you that she's actually really lovely and intelligent outside of the bedroom. We went to his room and it was so gross - messy, smelled like rotting food, dirty sheets So, I put on a condom and we got busy.

It turns into us wrestling and other touchy feelly stuff. Red Head Redemption So 16 at the time, giving head to a guy I was seeing. I get home and lay face up in my bed, wishing I was dead. I had sex with a girl at her place one night and we were both pretty drunk. I need a drink anyway.

Having someone I trust that much as my partner has really made sex which I always liked a lot something truly magnificent.

slip, squirt, fart, splatter... ... silence

I finally get it cleaned up off his carpet, tear off his bed sheets, put on my clothes and virtually run out the front door, asking him if he's ever seen "Trainspotting" he hadn't and telling him I was so sorry. The second, somewhat more practical reason is that I just wanted to feel a warm, throbbing, hot cock inside me.

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She kissed by opening her mouth wide WIDE and wiggling her tongue around, trying to shove it down my throatand then told ME that I didn't know how to kiss. So, she got up, got the baby to start breastfeeding while lying on her side, with me kinda spooning behind her. She came in to me standing in her pristine laundry, hammered drunk, crying, naked, still half covered in poop and scrubbing her nice sheets that were covered in my poo.

Well, all of this obviously still felt good because vaginas feel good to a penis, right guys?

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She was a he. You worst hookup stories reddit you sit back and do nothing while she does everything until you splooge all over her face? I was living in a high-rise building in chicago.

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I only ask cause of how nonchalant you seemed to be about being with a guy while your father comes home. Why do warming lubes even exist?! I was making out with my then-girlfriend back in highschool. We're negotiating with the Russians to secure this ass. I eventually invite the guy whose bed I was on over. Mom's motherly liberal instincts kicked in and after letting us get dressed she made us coffee and has us talk out our whole situation.

I tell her I'm too drunk and won't cum so I try to leave but one of my friends then barges in and gives us condoms, completely changing my mindset. This led to the question, "Where is my penis? She just stopped me and said, "I like you as a friend. One of my better hookups was with a friend of a friend who was visiting campus. Anyways, we pass out naked in her bed and I get waken up the next morning by her 3 year old crawling into bed and cuddling up worst hookup stories reddit to my naked and wearing only a long t-shirt. How is this not higher up?

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Only about 1 minute later, I tell her to stop because I'll come, and she takes that as a sign to hop on me and start riding me. I wondered where she was going with this so I obliged. Upvoting posts that you like helps more people in the community see them. Not bad, and kinda fun.